Monday, February 14, 2011

A Valentine's Day sentiment.

"I'm so lucky... that God the Flying Spaghetti Monster blessed me with a special friend like you. R'amen."
I love my boyfriend haha. Happy Valentine's Day folks!

Also, I'm now listed on the Atheist Blogroll! Check it out via the nifty link in the sidebar, and add your blog or browse all the fabulous blogs listed. :D

Thursday, February 10, 2011

The Best of the Bible Belt: T-Shirt Edition

There is a certain t-shirt company with a prolific following here in north Louisiana... they make shirts using the timeless combination of jarringly bright colors (lime green, hot pink, gouge-my-eyes-out-with-a-spoon orange, etc) and ridiculous, "country girl" catchphrases... Here are just a few:

I'm a 4-wheeler ridin', mud-slingin', camo-wearin' kinda girl!

If I can't wear my flip-flops I ain't goin'!

Pink ain't just a color, it's an attitude!

I'm a Bible totin', Devil stompin', faith walkin' kinda girl!

I'm a cell phone talkin', text messagin', Facebook chattin', southern sassin' kinda girl!

CINDERELLA IS PROOF THAT A PAIR OF SHOES AND A REALLY CUTE GUY CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE OMG LOLZ. (Ok, so the caps-lock and the "OMG LOLZ" is mine--but you get the picture, right?)

Every time I see one of these t-shirts (which is at least a few times a day), I imagine Paula Deen reading the ridiculous sayings plastered on them and then I get all pissy because these shirts are one of the few things that can really set my blood boiling. I know it's totally irrational, but it's just one of my pet peeves. I've never seen less thought put into designing clothing. Their typical formula: I'm a blank blankin', blank blankin', blank blankin' (repeated ad nauseum) kinda girl!

And the worst part is that everyone loves these shirts. Everywhere you go,  these shirts are clinging to girls in ratty flip-flops and Daisy Dukes. Them down-home, corn-fed, Jesus lovin' country girls eat this shit up!

I want to special order one just for me in radioactive cyan blue that proudly proclaims: I'm an evolution lovin', knowledge seekin', deity disbelievin' rational kinda girl (complete with a bedazzled picture of Charles Darwin that looks like a pixie threw up on it)... But somehow that sounds even more ridiculous than the shirts they actually do offer for sale (but just barely).

Okay, rant over. I just needed to get that out of my system haha. :] Console me, and tell me that Louisiana isn't the only state with an overabundance of these terrible t-shirts?

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Through Jesus-tinted glasses.

When I was a Christian, one of my major gripes about atheists was that "they spend more time talking about God than we do." And I've come to realize that... it's 100% true, but it's not because of our "god-shaped holes." It's because you really don't see all of the problems of religion until you're on the outside looking in... then you see people suffering, being lied to, killed, abused, etc, etc... an entire spectrum of immorality, dressed in sheep's clothing.

So the purpose of this post is just to give you guys a rundown of some of the foundations of my Christian beliefs, followed by what I now believe (which will be bolded). You tell me which set of statements is more ethical, kind, and rational.

1. We were created in God's image. We are animals, with complex brains that evolved over billions of years.
2. Satan tempts me to do evil things. I make my own choices... there is no supernatural being trying to influence me to do "evil."
3. Humans are inherently bad and we all deserve to burn in hell. Humans are born as blank slates--our genetics and our environment determine whether or not we will become "bad" people. We are born innocent.
4. Jesus Christ is the Son of God, who died on the cross for our sins and rose after three days to take his rightful place at the right hand of the throne of God. If Jesus existed, he was most likely a charismatic man with delusions of grandeur, who very well may have died by being crucified... but his story ends there.
5. Isaiah 64:6 -- "All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags." (In the original Hebrew text, "filthy rags" were used menstrual rags.) I am a flawed human, and I make mistakes, but I am capable of doing good things and being kind. I am appalled that Christians are proud of Isaiah 64:6, and what it says about their "righteous" God.
6. Everything happens for a reason... even the most insignificant details of my life are part of God's divine plan. Even if god existed, he would not give a damn about the frivolous details of my life like my shoe size and my favorite foods.
7. True love waits. My body is my own, and if I choose to have safe, responsible, premarital sex with someone I care about then so be it.
8. Homosexuality is an abomination against God. Safe, responsible sex between consenting adults is harming absolutely no one.
9. Atheists are bitter, hateful people with god-shaped holes in their hearts. Atheists are people who do not believe in god. There are millions of us, and we're all very very different. Some of us very well might be bitter and hateful... but many of us see life as a beautiful, precious thing and we aim to make the most of our short time on Earth.
10. I'm going to heaven when I die, where I will worship God for all eternity. When I die, I'll be buried.