15-day atheist challenge, day 7.

Except for God, do you believe in anything supernatural or pseudoscientific? (Ghosts, alien abductions, spirits, souls, demons, psychics, magic, Harry Potter, etc.)


In short, no. All of my supernatural and superstitious beliefs dissipated just as soon as my belief in God did. I really used to struggle, though, with a crippling fear of the supernatural. I even missed my sister's birthday party one year, because she had it at The Myrtles--a famous "haunted" antebellum home near Baton Rouge, LA. I was never comfortable being alone at the house, especially at night. I couldn't handle listening to ghost stories, or watching scary movies, or sleeping with the closet door open, or sleeping in a silent room (I always had to have a fan or TV on--I still sleep with the fan and TV on, because I'm so used to the noise)... the list goes on and on. I was scared to look in mirrors when I was alone or it was dark, scared to look down long dark hallways or into open windows at night-time. I think the more religious I got, the more serious my problem became.


At one point I became really interested in "spiritual warfare"--the Christian term for the invisible wars between demons and angels that were supposedly happening all around us, and how to defend yourself... intercessory prayer to expel spirits... looking back now, I realize how silly I was. It's all such bullshit... so stupid.


So, so, so stupid.


I do wish bigfoot was real though. My dad would be delighted.

15-day atheist challenge, day 6.

How do you feel about so-called “militant atheists” such as Richard Dawkins, Christopher Hitchens, and Sam Harris?


I think they're pretty swell guys. When I was first beginning to have doubts about Christianity, I gobbled up Sam Harris's books like it was going out of style. I think "Letter to a Christian Nation" was able to very eloquently put into words a lot of the doubts that were creeping around in the back of my mind. I definitely have a soft spot in my heart for Christopher Hitchens... one of the first debates I watched when I began thinking about atheism was he and Tony Blair, and I remember thinking that Hitchens kicked epic ass and was funny as hell. I read his books, listen to his lectures and debates, and will probably weep bitterly for days if he is unable to shake the esophageal cancer. 


And what can I say about Richard Dawkins? He's the face of atheism, that's for sure. I love his books and speeches; I'm not loving his involvement in this whole Skepchick scandal right now. Then again, I'm really just plain sick of hearing about the Skepchick scandal. I'm not loving it in general, but anyways...


How do I feel about militant atheism itself? It's not nearly as bad as it sounds. ;] Militant atheism is going to get shit done. Sometimes I'll cringe a little at a public display of atheism (teehee, PDA) that some people may deem "overboard," but then I remember: atheists in the United States are getting stomped on right now. Like, literally trampled underfoot. Those few people who are willing to dedicate their lives/careers/time/money to atheism, skepticism, and humanism are the very same who are slowly but surely making the world a more rational place. :] And I think that is worth applauding.

A brief rant and apology.

So sorry for the lack of updates, guys. I'm not blog material, I guess. I have faith, though, that none of you were on the edge of your seats in anticipation of my next post, so... :] I think we're all good.

Anyways... a few observations about being "out" around my family and friends:

1. As far as I'm aware, I've only lost 2 friends. One of them I was very close to. She's on the road to becoming a foreign missionary, and--after a brief period of awkwardly dancing around each other and really really badly-faked friendliness, she has removed me from her friends list on Facebook (main line of communication right there) and made it clear she wants nothing to do with me. I understand I guess... she's just doing what the Bible (more specifically: John Piper) tells her to. She's always been intensely serious about Christianity, and even when I was a Christian we clashed... a lot. I hate to assume the worst... but I'm guessing she's written me off because I'm a damn dirty atheist and she's a golden glorious missionary. (Let's not even get into talking about what a missionary's "job" is...) The other is a guy I used to be fairly close to, now an acquaintance barely worth mentioning. Definitely no biggie there.

I spent one sleepless night worrying my little head off about it, but then I realized... screw those guys! I will sleep well tonight knowing that I'm being 100% true to myself, instead of being a pussy for a little bit of validation from some so-called friends.

2. My mom and I agreed to disagree in matters concerning her religion and my atheism... she subsequently dug through my things and found a couple trial issues of Freethought Today (what I like to call "aggressively atheist"), and flipped out, banning all atheist materials from the house.... I've found that her idea of respect is rather one-sided. We listen to appalling amounts Christian radio when we are in the car together, and she recently made a kind of rude comment about atheists in front of my fanatically Christian aunt (who we were staying with at that time). I seethed silently, rather than defend myself and get kicked out of the house.

She also brings up demons and ghosts a lot. Fear of the supernatural is something I really struggled with when I was a believer, and I feel like she's trying to use that against me in an attempt to get me to return to the faith. She told me that she saw a "big black shadow" walk into my bedroom at about the time I became an atheist, but that I shouldn't be scared because she thinks it was God's way of telling her to watch out for me.

It's all so... manipulative and passive-aggressive, and when I try to defend myself then I become the villain. I am more than willing to drop the subject and never ever ever talk religion with my mom ever again... I guess the ball's in her court.

Anyways, over the next few days I'll be cleaning up the blog a bit... deleting and revising some of my cringe-worthy posts, maybe making the layout a little nicer, stuff like that. I'm also going to try to start posting a little more regularly... no promises, though. ;]

15-day atheist challenge, day 5.

Did you lose any friends because you decided to be an atheist? Did your family flip out?  

I can happily say that I didn't outright lose any friends... a few acquaintances from the church I was attending before I became an atheist simply reverted to ignoring me or giving me dirty looks, but none of my true friends totally dissed me... I feel like it's because a lot of them understand what it's like to "come out" in a Christian community--be they LGBT or non-Christian or both. Those of us with "alternative lifestyles" here in Louisiana gotta stick together, after all. :] There are many friends I simply didn't bother telling... I don't feel like the whole world needs to be all up in my grill.   

When I was a Christian I had an accountability partner, and he was absolutely, unequivocally my best friend. We shared absolutely everything with each other. Our relationship has suffered since I became an atheist, and that's really sad... but it happens. He's moving off for grad school next year, and I seriously regret not trying to connect with him these past few months. He's a dedicated, hardcore Christian, and I no longer ascribe to or support those beliefs--but I will always love the crap out of that boy.

I was outed to my family about a week ago, when my mom read through all of my private messages on Facebook... I was super mad at the time, as were my parents... but we've talked through everything. They, of course, are blaming my atheism on my boyfriend and swear up and down that it's "just a phase" and that deep down I still believe in the Christian god. They can believe whatever they want about my atheism, honestly... we've agreed to disagree, we don't bring it up anymore, and my boyfriend was able to be a part of the conversation. My grandmother and my uncle also know... and they've been nothing if not accepting and accomodating.

I've started being more open about my nonbelief, and my grandmother and I have gotten into a few heated debates on Facebook (haha), but it's all respectful. It's really nice to be able to express my opinions as an atheist without fear of being "found out."

I was pleasantly surprised by my family's reactions... and I'm so relieved that I'm finally out! :]

The atheists are coming...

So, just yesterday a senior at the public high school in my hometown declared that he did not want prayer at graduation... and that he would contact the ACLU if there were prayer. Well, the school has removed the prayer from the program and replaced it with a "moment of silence"... which, I think, is a great substitution that is respectful of the beliefs and non-beliefs of everyone who may be in attendance...

But it's not good enough for the folks of North Louisiana! This student has received multiple threats (some of them death threats). He's also had a terribly biased newspaper article written about him (that made the FRONT PAGE)... The town is in shambles, and many Christians are planning to rally and recite The Lord's Prayer during the moment of silence.

Let me repeat: the student is receiving DEATH THREATS. Christians showing off their "Christian love" once again!

I hate Louisiana. I'm surrounded by people who don't understand (or care about) the Constitution. Also, I've never seen so much hate in all my life. It seriously makes me ill.

Some linkage for you guys:
'Student challenges prayer at Bastrop graduation' - article from our local newspaper (the finest example of nonbiased journalism I ever did see)
Rock Beyond Belief's blog entry about this issue

In other news, my boyfriend has been here for the past few days to shield me from being completely alone with my parents now that I'm out... I'm pleased to report that things are going a lot better than I thought they would. :]

I'll be alone with my parents tonight but my mother's already decided that as long as we treat each other with respect there's no reason to keep talking about it... and I agree!

15-day atheist challenge, day 4.

Do you think religion is obsolete and should be wiped completely off the face of the Earth, or does some good come out of it?


IMHO, religion is bad to its very core. If there is one good that comes from religion it is consolation for people who are paralyzed with fear of dying... but then again I really don't think it's healthy or conducive to society for billions of people to be deluded either. If religion must exist, I think it should be an entirely private, individual matter. Yeah, go to church and read your Bible and pray if you want but don't try to spread it around (and I understand that this goes against everything the Christian Bible says, so... call it wishful thinking).


After I became an atheist, I felt like I had been played/controlled/manipulated/brainwashed/et cetera by religion. It exists to propagate itself, in order to control people. (I suggest reading "The God Virus" by Darrel Ray for more on this).

"Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by rulers as useful."

Outed.

I'm out. I accidentally left my Facebook logged in at my house and my mother pounced on the opportunity to read ALL of my private messages.

She's already told my dad, my grandmother, and my uncle--and this just happened last night. I'm sure she let the entire church know this morning.

So... I'm a little stressed, but at the same time a little relieved. Mostly infuriated that my mother has no respect for my privacy, but... whatever.